Chapter 1 – Something inside of me

Everyone of us, has something that he fears, even you I guess. I am talking about that kind of fear, which pushes you into the corner, causes you cold sweat and makes your heart beat faster than 180 bpm. Something, probably caused by experiences you have made as a child and kept incubated deep in yourself since then. In my case I don‘t really know where this fear came from. Maybe because I lost my Dad recently or maybe because I had received the sad news, that a friend, barely 34 years old, a lively rock and roll badboy with a punky haircut, loads of ink on his skin and his heart on the right place, was hit by a car, while was riding his push bike. This guy had turned recently from a couch-potato into an active sportive guy. In these moments, I understood that life is so fucking short and that I had to live the life I want, right now, before somebody would take this wonderful gift away.

Something inside of me started to spin like a top, fast and constantly, at the same time calm and balanced like a perpetum mobile, determined to spin on and on and disappoint the expectations to fall. I felt like I had to leave the country, to quit my job and go as far away as I could. I realised life could be over in a second, and I had to enjoy it the most!